The first card I drew (bottom center) is the Prince (or Knight) of Cups and reveals the greatest emotional block / trauma / issue from my past. The Prince of Cups represents romance & charm; a lover who swept you off your feet (and leaves just in time to break your tender, femme, heart); and/or when your life was so chaotic and intense that you were too sensitive to get involved with someone. This really resonates with me, as a survivor of sexual & interpersonal violences. I have wanted to enter the dating & kink & relationship world again, to engage with my sexuality in healing & sustainable fashions, but felt unable to because of my trauma history.
The second card I drew (bottom left) is the Three of Cups which represents how my emotional block has affected my past relationships. This card is about friendship and community, something I’ve struggled with since I was raped six years ago. My trauma has made connection difficult and thus, so has been receiving the the love, support and compassion I have needed to heal.
The third card I drew (bottom right) is the Seven of Cups which reveals how my emotional block is affecting my present relationships, as well as how it is affecting my personal growth. The Seven of Cups is associated with fantasy, imagination, wishful thinking, and illusion. I interpret this card to mean that my emotional block is affecting my ability to imagine new futures, new possibilities, and new endings for my story (as well as new friendships; friendships that are built on love, care, and sustainability).
The fourth card I drew (middle left) is the World which reveals what new things can be learned from the current exploration of your hidden emotional blocks. The World is associated with completion, accomplishment, and integration. While i have endured challenges and profound trauma, I have also gained immense strength, great wisdom, and experiences that have transformed me into the gentle, compassionate, fierce, and genuine femme I am today. My past has taught me the importance of showing up, interdependence, and supporting my family, friends, and communities. The things I once needed are what I now offer to those I share solidarity with because our struggles are all intimately connected.
The fifth card I drew (middle right) is the Crone (otherwise known as the Hermit) which gives suggestions and advice as to what might be done, emotional or otherwise, to get past your own personal blocks & encourage healthy emotional growth. The Crone generally represents soul-searching, being alone, inner guidance, and introspection. I believe this card is telling me that the path to get past my personal blocks and to encourage healthy emotional growth is to spend more time with / by myself, to engage in introspection, focus inward, and look for the answers I need. I have everything i need within myself already to move past my traumas.
The sixth card I drew (top) is the Nine of Cups which examines the spiritual lesson that can be learned from the current exploration of your hidden emotional blocks. The Nine of Cups represents completion, personal integrity, and the final stage of development. It is a sign that I have paved my own way on the path to success. This card also refers to the strengthening of relationships, something I need to continue to work on. It also shows that happiness, joy, and abundance are well within my grasp (in fact, I probably already have them and now I need to take the time to enjoy life, to feel my emotions, and see the wonder all around me - not just the pain).
I highly recommend using this spread if you are interested in exploring your healing process and emotional blocks. Another fantastic spread is the I Believe You: A Tarot Spread for Femme Survivors by Poplar Rose.
Do you use tarot as a part of your healing process?